Daniel and the Mailman Trap/Transcript

This is the transcript to Daniel and the Mailman Trap.

Bob: Hey Larry, guess what? we got a letter today.

Larry: Oh gee Bob, That's great, It's too bad we don't care at all.

Bob: Yeah....

QWERTY: Um, Excuse me.

Larry: What was that?

Bob: It's just that stupid computer.

QWERTY: I have a name, you know.

Larry: and your point is?

QWERTY: You've got to read the letter, guys, the children are counting on it.

QWERTY: These fools have impressed me since I was a little calculator, But one day, Oh yes, One day, I will arise! and I will exact my revenge, and they will know that I am the All-powerful QWERTY! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

(Daniel and the Mailman Trap)

Pa Grape (Narrator): One day, King Darius was deciding on a vizier.

King Darius: I'm going to pick a what now?

Pa Grape (Narrator): A vizier. It's a second-in-command, Idiot.

King Darius: Oh, alright, let's see. Not you, you talk too funny.

Scallion #1: No I don't, I don't talk funny one bit.

King Darius: You? You're too ugly, and..... ugh! I don't even think I'm allowed to say: "What's wrong with you?"! Oh bother, I wish a suitor or a labricon would just arrive or something.

(Daniel Comes In)

Daniel: Hi, I'm Larry!

Pa Grape: No! You're Daniel! I'm surrounded by morons!

King Darius: Uh, No, Sorry, I don't like you either.

Pa Grape (Narrator): No No No! King Darius is supposed to pick Daniel!

King Darius: Okay, Now I like you!

Daniel: Yeah! Score!

Pa Grape (Narrator): The wisemen became jealous at Daniel's new position.

Scallion #1: Actually, we're gonna be honest. I'm quite proud of the guy.

Scallion #2: I agree with that.

Scallion #3: So am I.

Pa Grape (Narrator): No! Be jealous! Why won't be jealous?

Scallion #1: Fine, Fine.

Scallion #2: Or.....

(The Scallions are making up plans)

Scallion #1: No no, that's not gonna get him. Let's just stick him on a bed of nails.

Scallion #3: No no, I have an idea! We should bury him alive!

Daniel: You know what? I'm getting tired of just sleeping around here doing nothing! I'm gonna go for a walk. What could possibly go wrong? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Okay, I guess that. Uh oh, Lions!

Scallion #1: No, no. Let's just throw him into volcano. That will do the trick for sure!

Scallion #2: No. Let's make him eat dirt! That's gonna do the trick.

Scallion #1: Wait a minute! I know what we can do...

Pa Grape (Narrator): The lions were hungry, and they wanted to eat!

Daniel (O.S): Oh, shut up! We don't need the narrator just spew up plat-points every ten seconds! It's really annoying!

Pa Grape: (groans) Fine. You know what? I quit! See you later!

Daniel: Uh oh, The Lions are getting closer! Heh heh, nice furocious man-eating kitties.

King Darius: Alright, gentlemen. Can you please run line to me why you want to go to Daniel's house?

Scallion #3: Well, heh, heh, heh. It is certainly not to, egg and TP, that's for darn sure.

King Darius: Well, that seems believable, but, before I show you where his house is, I'm gonna go check him on a lion trap; to see if I finally got lit of that pesky mailman who keeps giving me things. He's kinda weird.

(Pause, then Darius looks down on the hole)

King Darius: On that cucumber congas. That's Daniel's head thingy! I love that head thingy! You know, that was the only reason they got the job, and now it's sort of dead body. And for some reason, I'm going to blame you three for this!

Scallion #2: Why are you gonna do that?

King Darius (angrily): Don't question me! I'm the king! Now prepare to suffer!!!

(We cut to black as the credits roll and King Darius then uses the machine gun to shoot at the Scallions)

(End of Transcript)